Fatigue

In so little words and so little time, I’m tired.

and it’s not my youth dwindling,

or ideas escaping.

 

It’s the back and forth of your idiosyncrasies and whines.

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Coin toss

I wish I picked that life,

made that choice,

took that chance, 

And it would have made all the difference.

Battle Studies

Elections are in 9 days.

The battle intensifies.

I pray for the people at the battlefront.

That they may always remember what it means to fight the good fight.

To stand for integrity, honor and duty.

For the warriors who defend day in and day out. Who keep the fire alive.

Who remain firm, calm and composed even in the face of those who taunt.

For those waiting at home, the kids, that they may see how beautiful victory can be when wars are won by honest and loving men. (And women!)

For those in places of conflict, that they will rise and bring their strength alongside them when they choose to fight  the good fight.

I pray for the Philippines–deeply and lovingly–as if it were mine.

Spacing out

I miss writing.

I miss reading.

I miss cooking.

I miss baking.

I miss sand between my toes. Hair grown messy from the wind. Uneven skintones. The smell of sunblock that clings to the walls of the room. The sound of waves crashing shore.

I miss jogging at 5pm, just as the sun sets. Pushing my luck, in sight of heavy gray clouds. Running till my legs turn jelly. Lighten your step. It reduces the blow.

I miss the music. Listening half-awake. A little buzzed. Beer in my hand. No End in Sight. Eyes shut.

Daydreaming.

Real world

The world belongs to those who:

1. wake up earlier than everybody else

2. read a lot

3. are small-talk experts

4. are brave!

5. work harder than everybody else 

Remember that as much as you would want to own the world you also owe it!!!

A post about all kinds of loss

They say that grief takes you whole. It envelopes you like a wave that overwhelms with unapologetic force, ending only when it declares itself done. I found that you cannot predict when grief strikes, it just happens. Triggered by mundane objects that remind you of something familliar but lost; you remember.

I found that the best way to conquer waves is to ride it.

And so, you remember what has been said and done–you are left with two options: to regret or let be. We become our own enemies when we choose to be unforgiving; for things we did or didn’t do. But what else can be done? There is no point to regret but there is a point to every feeling of regret. Opposed to feeling like a complete loser, I believe it’s better to understand that there is always something to take from it.

A letter:

I want to say that with love, I miss you and I think about you every once in a while. Just as many friends say, much of you is felt in the world. You live on. I can feel it in Kythe, in stories shared, in the times I pass by your house in my rounds and rounds of jogging. Perhaps, the point of this is: I just wanted to properly wish you a Happy Birthday with a thank you attached. I want to thank you for the past few months wherein I somewhat felt you there. Because there was a lot of learning, love and life, thank you.

A recap:

In its own odd way, the past few months have been both heavy and light. I was reminded that:
(1) growing up comes with arriving at your own decisions (though they may not always sit well with others)
(2) Moscato is good with everything
(3) the day you stop learning is the day you choose to lose
(4) comparison is the thief of joy
(5) important things take time
(6) good friends take you to good places
(7) discipline will take you further than motivation or “mood” will (form good habits)
(8) travel to experience culture and it will be enriching
(9) (good) music is good for the soul
(10) loving can hurt (but it’s OK)

+ with work and “real life” ahead, I choose to be hopeful 🙂

(I’m so happy I’m writing again)