They say that grief takes you whole. It envelopes you like a wave that overwhelms with unapologetic force, ending only when it declares itself done. I found that you cannot predict when grief strikes, it just happens. Triggered by mundane objects that remind you of something familliar but lost; you remember.
I found that the best way to conquer waves is to ride it.
And so, you remember what has been said and done–you are left with two options: to regret or let be. We become our own enemies when we choose to be unforgiving; for things we did or didn’t do. But what else can be done? There is no point to regret but there is a point to every feeling of regret. Opposed to feeling like a complete loser, I believe it’s better to understand that there is always something to take from it.
I want to say that with love, I miss you and I think about you every once in a while. Just as many friends say, much of you is felt in the world. You live on. I can feel it in Kythe, in stories shared, in the times I pass by your house in my rounds and rounds of jogging. Perhaps, the point of this is: I just wanted to properly wish you a Happy Birthday with a thank you attached. I want to thank you for the past few months wherein I somewhat felt you there. Because there was a lot of learning, love and life, thank you.
In its own odd way, the past few months have been both heavy and light. I was reminded that:
(1) growing up comes with arriving at your own decisions (though they may not always sit well with others)
(2) Moscato is good with everything
(3) the day you stop learning is the day you choose to lose
(4) comparison is the thief of joy
(5) important things take time
(6) good friends take you to good places
(7) discipline will take you further than motivation or “mood” will (form good habits)
(8) travel to experience culture and it will be enriching
(9) (good) music is good for the soul
(10) loving can hurt (but it’s OK)
+ with work and “real life” ahead, I choose to be hopeful 🙂
(I’m so happy I’m writing again)