There is so much sadness in the world.
Have you ever felt like letting go in the hopes of getting a better grip?
Today felt like giving up. Many times. If you could give up on giving up, I would have done it.
Sadly, I haven’t been able to successfully fool myself into believing that I am someone great… and fabulous.. and that I’m already everything I want to be.
But if there’s a truth I can be proud of, I take refuge in knowing I’m capable of choosing goodness–as does everyone else.
That goodness can manifest in the minute instances of life. In the every day and any way. In the tiny choices we make that affect others in ways we don’t know.
And there are days when we decide to say a huge FUCK IT to goodness. To choose pride over concern. To choose safety over risk. To choose yourself over the other in front of you. Because yes, you’re pathetic. But also because it’s the easy way out. (Also, did I say because Fuck it??)
But the thought of that leads us to something especially human–the idea of redemption. To much disappointment, just because you were an asshole today doesn’t mean you will be tomorrow. He made life too good for us to be doomed by a single decision. We can and can and can and can choose to be better than we were yesterday.
So I guess tomorrow will be a better day because this too-good-for-us life isn’t going to give up on us even when we feel like shit has hit the fan. Because tomorrow will have a billion opportunities to choose goodness and yet again it is what we make of them that will define how great we can truly be.
Would we be called Marsians? Marlings?
Would the mountains and canyons look the same? Do they grow green and smell the way they do here? because that’s what made earth feel like home.
Maybe they would build bodies of water and force rain down. Yes, men can be relentless like that.
Would they build farmlands? Would people even need to make their own food? or would they just get it Space X-ed from earth? (Where food tastes better)
Hospitals, roads, wires, and homes would probably be built first. You think they would be like the city blocks in Barcelona?
Or would they try to make it an Earth 2.0? A better world. Where men don’t need to fight over land because everyone is entitled to a fair share. Where everyone has a garden to tend and dogs to play with. Where the wildlife is left alone, allowing it flourish.
Would school be different because survival will be different there? Would the kids have the freedom to go out late at night if nights are too cold? Would kids born there understand their world is “man-built”?
Would going to the beach ever be the same? With the sun looking almost blue so far away and two moons at night to see. Would anyone even get tan?
But most importantly, how fast do you think their wifi connection can go?
I’d write to you everyday, of stories of heroes and monsters at sea,
of little fish that swim endlessly, of bears that don’t feel free.
I’d sing you songs of silver, songs of every season, day and weather.
And when words run out, I’d draw the ways we love and we laugh and it’ll be like we never grew older.
And when there is nothing left to say, i’d be with you as if there is no other way.
In so little words and so little time, I’m tired.
and it’s not my youth dwindling,
or ideas escaping.
It’s the back and forth of your idiosyncrasies and whines.